I usually live in a world where you are awesome and I am awesome, and there's an implicit understanding that we are all doing our best all the time! Other people's successes are there to learn from! Failure just means we tried! I never cry about things that I know won't matter six months from now, and I live and die by bumper-stickerisms that include DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, and HAVE A NICE DAY.
In attempt to sage-stick the last few weeks from my brain, I'm compelled to share with you that I've recently spent the bulk of my time focusing on what I don't know rather than what I do, feeling shitty about what's left on my to-do list rather than what got checked off, and placing way more importance on my vulnerabilities than my strengths. I've been freaking out, man, and it's been a gigantic waste of time.
But because there is balance in the universe (and yes, because Mercury was in retrograde), the winning streak, re: mindset, that I've been effortlessly riding for most of my adult life was bound to come crashing down at some point. And even with a large percentage of the ONE BILLION PLAYS of Shake it Off having come from my specific Washington, DC IP address, a couple of weeks ago I gave into the miz and I rolled around in it and I let myself feel badly when politics came up at the party and I had nothing to add; I set unrealistic expectations for myself and then berated me when I came in lacking; I ugly-cried mere hours before giving a talk titled "how to kill it in your creative career," because that was a day in which I focused 100% of my energies on beating myself up for being good at a lot of things – but not being GREAT at anything other than just being me, and that didn't feel like enough. Also I cut bangs, and I know better than to reach for the scissors while in the midst of an existential crisis, you guys. I know better.
I'll spare you the rest of the myriad ways I let self-doubt take the wheel in September, and I'll circle back around to the sage-sticking: you are awesome. I am awesome. Put it on repeat until it once again becomes fact (it always was). And have an amazing weekend – we're Asheville, NC-bound for a few days (I'm coming back swinging next week). XO